Purchase tickets at: getyourneedsmet.weebly.com
July 12, 2018
June 26, 2018
March 14, 2018
February 27, 2018
Want More Control in Your Life???
Rob Porter recently resigned as White House staff secretary. A New York Times article (dated February 7,
2018) stated, “Mr. Porter announced his resignation on [Feb. 7, 2018] a day
after his two former wives accused him in interviews of physical abuse when
they were married to him.”
We do what we do to get our needs met. Perhaps his wives stayed in
their marriages to get acceptance, security and/or companionship. Or it is possible they didn’t get out sooner
because they received (or hoped to receive) power, status and/or support. These two women also made their declarations
in an effort to get their needs met—perhaps those of validation, safety,
control and/or to escape the guilt they felt for not reporting it sooner.
In a Washington Post article (dated Feb. 12, 2018) Rob Porter’s
first wife, Colbie Holderness, stated, “For me,
living in constant fear of Rob’s anger and being subjected to his degrading
tirades for years chipped away at my independence and sense of
self-worth.” This comment indicates perhaps
she got out of the marriage to Rob Porter in an effort to regain her
independence and self-worth.
Porter’s wives may not have been aware that emotional needs were
driving them to do what they did, but they did what they did in order to get
their needs met.
Also, Rob Porter did what he did to meet his unmet emotional
needs. They could have been needs of
acceptance, safety and/or competence.
They may have been needs of power and control. We do what we do in order to meet unmet
needs.
As human beings, we must have a certain level of control in our
lives or we go crazy. In very broad
terms, two types of control exist in our lives—internal and external. Internal control consists of things like
self-discipline, acting in line with our prioritized values, choosing right
because it is right even if it is hard, and managing our thoughts and feelings. External control includes managing people and
situations around us.
To the extent we have internal control, we have little or no need
for external control. If someone is
exercising a great deal of external control, it would make sense he or she is
lacking internal control. Those who have
been through trauma may go to great lengths to have external control in order
to maintain safety. We do what we do in
order to meet unmet needs.
Get Your
Needs Met! is a self-help resource book that offers chapters of practical
tools to create emotional independence and how to get your needs met. It is available at KeyInsightsPublishing.com
and for the price of a co-pay of a counseling session you will receive about 15
hours of therapeutic information.
On March 31, 2018, a Saturday seminar, part of the Get Your Needs
Met! series, will be held at the Shilo Inn.
It will be in the Temple View Room from 8:30-4:30 and will focus on
tools to meet the emotional needs of: Safety, Support, Independence and Power
& Control. Register at: GetYourNeedsMet.Weebly.com. Come and spend the day with Bob Stahn and learn
how to Get Your Needs Met!
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