Emotional Needs Part 2

I believe emotional needs drive our behavior more than any other category of  need  (It also may be that as a mental health therapist, I work each day with emotional needs and am slightly biased!).  For example, when I ask new clients what they want to gain from our time together in counseling, nearly always their response includes that they want to be happy.  It’s an emotional need that is not being met.  Their unmet need motivates them to seek help.

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Some positive behaviors that are motivated by emotional needs are serving family, helping friends or the community.  So are developing relationships, having fun, expressing creativity, working at a profession or increasing our spirituality. 

           

On the other hand crime, codependence, addictive behavior, and trying to control the lives of others are negative behaviors we do in an effort to meet unmet needs.

Some of our motivation may be tremendously strong.  Others may be mildly strong and only encourage us to have tendencies toward certain behaviors.  Even altruistic acts are done in an effort to meet an unmet need of being helpful, generous or kind.

Some of our emotional needs can be met by other people in our lives.  We’re going to explore meeting OUR OWN emotional needs and also increasing your chances of getting needs met by others.  

How often do we get upset when our partner doesn’t react the way we wanted, not meeting a need?  Rule #1 is that NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY.  HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN.  We’ll be looking at specific emotional needs and what you can do to get them met.