Emotional Needs? What are You Talking About?

by Bob Stahn.....   

An illustration of how emotional needs and motivation are connected is an interaction I had with a couple who were in my office for their first session of marital therapy.  In an effort to know how I could help them, I asked them how well they could identify their emotional needs.  The wife answered saying that she was fairly aware of her emotional needs.  Her husband indicated silently that he was not very aware of his emotional needs while his wife said the following, “I don’t think that my husband is very aware of his emotional needs at all.  In fact, I don’t think he even knows why he does what he does.”  It was amazing she so succinctly connected emotional needs and motivation! 

 As human beings typically we are well aware of our physical needs (hunger, thirst, sleepiness, etc.).  However, we are much less aware of our emotional needs.  (This is particularly evident with men who have been created with less emotional awareness.)

 
If we look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it appears that mankind in general is aware of the first level, physiological needs.  But if we look at subsequent levels, all are emotional in nature, of which most of us are less aware.  So we could take Maslow’s pyramid and turn it upside down to represent an iceberg of emotional needs with only the physiological level above the water, exposed to our awareness.  The largest parts of our unmet needs are beyond our understanding.  

 

 

Have a look at Maslow's pyramid. The top four tiers are emotional in nature.  Look at each one and ask yourself how you are getting those needs met.  Feel free to share your answers in the comments section.  Visit the Well Spring Counseling website for more information.

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